Figure Out What Your Working With
The New York Times best seller Five Love Languages by the marriage consoler Gary Chapman is a book all about the five different love languages he has deducted. Basically, he's saying that everyone receives love in different ways--through receiving gifts, touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and finally quality time. He says that once you figure out someone's "love language" you can use it to make them feel more loved and secure. Gary Chapman put together a small quiz that helps devise a persons specific language. You can take the free quiz here:http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ have your boyfriend take the quiz as well.
Now, once you get the results, here's how you work with them.
To be fair, don't confuse this with materialism. It just means that a person who has this love language feels most loved when the receive a really thoughtful, small gift (it has a lot more to do with the thought and meaning behind it rather than the object itself). The best way to make some one feel loved and secure when they have this love language is to shower them with little gifts. Small gifts but with a lot of thought behind it. There doesn't have to be a special occasion or anything, it can just be a surprise--perhaps a single flower you picked off the lawn and gave to him when he was having a bad day; or his favorite candy bar and a cute little "love you!" note in his locker when he told you he was hungry or nervous about something. Anything works really. And it doesn't have to break the bank either, you could give him a drawing you drew or even a paper flower.
According to the quiz, I am this type, I got a total of twelve in this category and twelve is the highest it goes. I absolutely agree with this being my love language--I love getting surprise gifts and small things, especially when I wasn't expecting them. And I share a lot of my love that way too--with gifts. I always give gifts to my friends when I see something to give them and I put together a small gift whenever someone is having a rough time.
ACTS OF SERVICE
I believe that my mom has this language, whereas (according to the quiz) I completely lack it (I got a zero in this category). But, basically it's about doing practical things for your partner when ever they need you too. Like doing the laundry when they didn't ask, or offering to help them out in some task. For people with this language, actions mean more then words. You'll do best to show your love to someone like this by doing anything you feel they need you to do (wether they ask or not). Such as taking care of them when they are sick, taking their homework home when they are out of school, helping them study for a test, helping them with chores, driving them around when their car breaks down. Just things that help them out in day to day life. Definitely don't ask for repayment with what you do--it hurts them. Just do it from the good of your heart and let them know that you are there for them whenever they need you to be.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
Someone with this language will be especially touched by words of love and commitment. Love letters, romantic gushes, and just telling them that you love them will really make them feel adored. For this, you'll want to tell them things like "I don't know what I'd do with out you" or "you mean so much to me" whenever you can. You will want to get as mushy as you can and express everything you feel for them into words--it will mean the world to them.
If your boyfriend feels most loved when spending quality time with you, this is his love language. The best thing to do with this is just spend time with him. Give him your undivided attention and set everything aside just to cuddle with him or watch a movie--some activity where it is just the two of you. The most hurtful thing for this type of person is when you don't give him all of your attention and you act distracted around him--or just not spending time with him at all. If you feel you need to make your boyfriend feel more secure in the relationship and he is this language, start setting aside moments of the week just to be with him. It doesn't have to be long--maybe an hour at least--but make sure that you are actually there with him. Don't think about trivial things like the homework you need to do or anything like that. Just be therewith him.
I am an 8 in this category (which is my second highest score) and I have to say that yeah, I am a touchy feelly person. Most physical touch people are (duh). But if your boyfriend is this, you will want to hold his hand whenever you get the chance, you'll want to give him kisses whenever you can and connect with him through touch. Gentle touches, playful tummy smacks, kisses and hugging are huge things. So if you are against PDA you do need to get over it if you want to show your boyfriend you love him when he is this language. Not touching him--not holding his hand--will hurt him a tad and make him feel less loved.
If you feel you and your boyfriend are drifting apart, or you feel like you don't show him enough love, this tip and the five love language quiz should really help you out. And I really hope it did!
I have to go now, but I have to say first that I am extremely apologetic about not posting in forever! I gave most of my attention to the other account and there wasn't much attention to give (I had a lot of school work to do). I hoping that the other girls would be able to post occasionally so that this account didn't go dead the whole time I was gone but I guess not. Perhaps we should do auditions again? Anyway, I am sorry about this guys, I really am.
PS you can earn 50 likes by giving feedback on this tip! Check it out: Go to this link:https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?formkey=dFZUZFJfZWRRLTZMdnFqS2VGQmlCWnc6MQ#gid=0 fill in the form, click submit, and comment "done" below (: it's only a four question form, shouldn't take more than five minutes (: After, I will LiKE 50 of your sets!
Also, check out the latest Polyvore Awards nominations guys! http://www.polyvore.com/polyvore_awards/set?all_comments=1&id=80915075 that other account I'm on, @crystal-waves, has gotten nominated four times so far for best magazine (I'm really excited!)
Oh! In case you haven't noticed, AAG is going to take a break for awhile. I was hoping that we could do this but we aren't going to be able to--not now anyway. We really do need to work on this account before we do anything like that.
FOR THE TIP GIRLS:
@makayla-nicole @igotstyles @xxabckrdxx @thisgirlisonfire and everyone else on this account, please post a tip in the next two weeks if you wish to stay on this account. I will change the password in the beginning of June and if you haven't posted a tip by then I won't send you the new password. We need to get more active, we really really do need to. Most of you new girls said that you'd post 3 or 4 times a week and no one has posted a tip for a month. Please PM me at @petitgateaux if you have any questions